I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
