I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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