Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
