In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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