I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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