dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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