I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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