dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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