They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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