I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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