and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
