I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
