please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
