I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
