Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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