doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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