I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize