i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just pee around me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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