I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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