my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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