I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
