His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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