I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
