as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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