had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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