Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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