dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Randomize
