So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Vodka?
Forever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
