In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
