You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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