You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
