I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
