your thong is hanging out like whoa
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We had sex on a dog bed..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
