Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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