So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
