She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
