Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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