It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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