As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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