there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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