So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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