i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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