That's intense
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
