Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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