According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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