He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
