I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
did you just send me my own nude
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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