definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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