Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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