yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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