why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize